New Computer Viruses

Freudian Virus - Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.
Paul Revere Virus - Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
Ollie North Virus - Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files
Ronald Reagan Virus - saves your data, but forgets where it's stored
Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
Politically Correct Virus - Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist Virus - Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine
Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer
Adam and Eve Virus - Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer
Congressional Virus - The computer locks up, and the screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem
Airline Virus - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore
PBS Virus - Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money
Jimmy Hoffa Virus - Your programs can never be found again